Random Thoughts

I was just itching to type again, so here goes nothing. First, I am probably writing out of stress. It is nearly Christmas, and I am fighting off feeling like I am going to be really glad when it's all over, becuase this is the birth of Christ we're celebrating for goodness sake! Still, there are just so many functions. Y'know what I mean? Don't get me wrong, I love to go do stuff, but I also have gotten really good at saying, "no". I'm glad I read at least some of the book Boundaries before this season began, so I can say "NO!" with confidence that people will still like me even if I don't go to their dinner party. Sigh.

I am listening to the beautiful sound of a very tired 1 year old screaming at me from his bedroom. He seems to be winding down, but he is totally over-tired and just plain cranky. I hate hearing him cry though. I remember when I was a kid I thought it gave my mom some kind of sadistic pleasure to make me cry, since (according to me then) she made me cry all the time. Truth being, I made myself cry most of the time in a vain attempt to get my way. Ah, now the tables are turned. I wonder if she struggled with that motherly instinct to run in there and just hold him even though I should not go in there under any circumstances b/c then he will never take a nap. Sigh. See - this is why I am tired!

Okay, now there really is silence. I think he is waving the white flag. Anyway, Jason and I have been informally making a list of all the fun things we did or didn't get to do as kids that we want to do with Jonah. We're at that akward stage as parents when we're trying to adopt our own traditions, namedly, Christmas traditions. What is it that the Zaragoza family does thatis unique to us? Last year does not count since we had a newborn and were in survival mode. So far Jonah has gone to the babysitter more than usual. How's that for family tradition. I can just see it now . . . imagine Jonah in the second grade doing a paper on "Family traditions"....."At Christmastime, my parents leave me with a babysitter almost every chance they get so they can run off and do fun stuff without me." Gee, how nice. OKay, we're not that bad, it just seems like more than usual. We need to spread all these fun Christmas get-togethers out over the year so we can pretand to be socialites all year long!

We did drive through Brentwood Sat. night and looked at the lights on the mansions...or maybe we just looked at the mansions. Jason said," Do you think the people that live there spend much time there? Or do they work all the time to pay for it, but don't really get to enjoy it?" Hmmm...I wonder that too. I have never wanted a huge house, not because I don't like them, but because I think a family might get lost in there. Just drift away from one another, living separate lives in their own wings. I want my family to be close, not mud-hut close, but close enough to hear one another and know what's going on. I mean, Jonah will be grown up and flying the nest before we know it, (okay like in 17 or so years....but still!) Why rush it?